Eventually, the regular teacher returns, relieving the substitute.
For My Captor and I, it meant Mommy and Daddy were back from their brief vacation and we were officially off duty.
Their three boys extremely excited to see them, heartwarming to watch.
But it made us feel a bit like a Christmas tree on December 26th: tired and brittle, hoping for more time before we headed to the chipper.
And made us realize the time to negotiate your ‘compensation’ is before they leave on their trip: Does that expensive French restaurant Door Dash? Are these the only snacks you have? Can you repay some of that college money we ‘lent’ you?
Because once they were home, they expressed their gratitude by showing us pictures of what they thought we might have liked from the hotel gift shop…
But our 5 days in ‘charge’ – away from our routine and responsibilities – gave us time to reflect on what it means to be a grandparent, and the art of parenting.
Except that reflection thing happened on the ride home – while in ‘charge’ we were in bed by 8:30 nightly, relieved to have survived another day.
Bedtime made more enticing by our inability to properly work the television, which was decidedly oldster unfriendly: We still have cable, regard the voice remote as the ‘invention of the century’, and were flummoxed by the raft of streaming icons.
With the remote capable 6 year-old in bed, the only programming we were able to access was the Lifetime Channel. Featuring plots that involve spousal assault and murder, it made for very strange dreams, sleeping as far apart as possible, and the removal of all the sharp knives in the house.
And missing Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy hour was frustrating – particularly since we’re savoring the remaining Pat Sajak episodes. Though his new rap CD helps.
Upon reflection we realized what makes grandparenting – and parenting – so rewarding: Service to others. While in ‘charge’, we only had time to worry about the kids and what they needed next – – putting others first perhaps the key to happiness.
Nearly as rewarding was the opportunity to share our hard-earned wisdom with a new generation – who seemed as eager to hear it as our own children. Though I saw one of the children running with scissors point down, so partial progress.
This trio ready to go from the moment they jumped out of bed, the energy commencing at 5:30 – or earlier. And except for the occasional request for more yogurt, minor owie – or brief meltdown – were unrelentingly cheerful throughout the day. Wistfully reminding of my Irish mother’s zest for life.
But their young ages providing a parenting contrast with their cousins, a trio 6 and older, now in the challenging life phase where they’re learning the world isn’t always a welcoming or forgiving place – and your ultimate life success hinges on how you deal with disappointment.
Which is the hardest part of parenting: Helping your children navigate the tough parts.
Ultimately, why grandparenting is so great: We generally get the fun parts, the parents the tough parts – when we can only offer empathy.
But no matter the generation, it’s never easy to watch disappointment – – still unable to explain that the all-star team was picked before tryouts…
And why grandparents don’t always make rational purchase decisions: It’s fun bringing the fun!
Our time in ‘charge’ was a blast, and reminded once again the basics of parenting/grandparenting don’t change: Forgive their mistakes, teach them to do better and be good citizens, be nice to others – and themselves, and love them unconditionally.
For 214 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on how these kids will turn out– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Lots of Bob Marley chatter pre-movie release, but reminding me that reggae was new to this country in the early ‘70s – as was Ska.
Our college film series screened “The Harder They Come”, starring Jimmy Cliff as a gangsta and the Ska-based soundtrack album helped break Ska in this country. Don’t know if the movie can be viewed, but a worthwhile find. I’ve added ‘The Harder they Come’ and ‘You Can get it if you really want’ to the BATN playlist, and the album is a great listen. If you’re Ska inclined, check out the Specials, a great ‘80s band.
While we’re deep in history, the Clash’s 1977 debut album was ska/reggae influenced, and the lore is that Elvis Costello listened to it on repeat, then wrote ‘Watching the Detectives’.
I discovered Marley with his ‘Rastaman Vibration’ album, which I just relistened, as staggeringly good now as it was then. But to be fair, his next album ‘Exodus’ is one of the greatest albums ever released. You can add your own gallery of Marley hits, but I’ve added ‘Positive Vibration’, ‘Crazy Baldhead’, ‘Buffalo Soldier’ and ‘Could you be loved’ to the playlist.
And in a bit of unrelated pleasure, I’ve added Brubeck’s ‘Take Five’, because every playlist should include one of the all-time greats. And Paul Desmond’s birthday should be a holiday – it actually is in parts of Indiana.