BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!

Colder than a well digger’s ass.

It’s very cold right now. Well, for here.

But I’m very aware that well digger’s asses freeze at very different temps – it’s 30 degrees, with a wind chill of 10, and we’ve had our first snow in like 36 years – all of which would be derisively sneered at in Bismarck or Minneapolis.

Their well diggers would likely be wearing shorts here, but today was the first day I’d worn pants for my morning beach walk, largely in recognition of our power being out, no heat making the house temp 58, and dropping. And I cut my walk a bit short because walking back into the 30 mile an hour wind was nasty – freezing a well diggers face.  

As an aside, is well digging still a thing? And I thought once you got below ground it got warmer – magma or something – because anytime I’ve seen trapped miners being rescued they’re always hot and sweaty.

As another aside, is well diggers ass a dated colloquialism? Or a dated idiom – like that buffoon my sister went out with? Reminding of ‘6 of one, half dozen of the other’, which my son had never heard, but thought was great. Clearly a dying expression. But better than well diggers derriere – My Captor thinking WDA used too much…

But is colloquialism what I think it is/was? When I google it, “another word for it is ‘Conversational Vernacular’”, which is 2 words and not helpful.  AI! (Shakes fist angrily, but amended by Word AI to Shakes fist in friendly fashion). One does wonder, if AI is the end of civilization as we know it, why is it being offered by everyone as an ‘added bonus’?

There are so many colloquialisms kids today no longer know (Shakes fist helpfully, hoping kids will understand – and quickly, so AI can’t change), such as: In-office Fridays, In-office Mondays, and Give a penny, take a penny.   

And the northern well diggers would be much warmer because their heat and power – and internet – would likely still be working. Their power lines buried, ice clinging to the lines hasn’t caused outages. That last thing is my theory, the only thing I’ve been texted by GA Power “We are experiencing widespread outages, working to determine restore times.”

Leading to a few momentary open/jarring items:

How long will the power be out? And how widespread is widespread? Has it affected our friends with the whole house generator where we recharged after Helene? And what’s the waiting period before calling them?

And if our heat stays out, will we have to go outside to warm up?

Is a power outage worse in cold or hot weather? Right now I’m betting cold, but check back after the next hurricane…

And what’s more jarring than things where they shouldn’t be? Like snow in our front yard, the GA Power guy with the big stick near the transformer, or that homeless guy asleep in our car.

As the snowfall begins to melt, I’m reminded how much I don’t miss sludge – the gray crud replacing the white beauty.

Which is full force today, the temp up to 45, the sun melting everything.

But our power came back yesterday around 4, though not until we’d been to our friends with the whole house generator to charge up. And they still honored their dinner invitation, which was scrumptious.

That combined with neighbors bringing us coffee and an egg bowl from Waffle House – oddly, the only place open – proving once again, the ugliness of nature, overridden by the kindness of strangers.

For 274 more posts like this –each with a wish for more volume– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

We used to see a lot of shows at the Roxy in Buckhead, and were fond of standing in front of the speakers where it was LOUD. After seeing the Waterboys I couldn’t hear until the following afternoon. Good times. Today’s additions are songs you turn way up when they come up on your iphone.  ‘Goin’ against your mind’ ‘Conventional wisdom’ Built to Spill – the greatest rock band from Boise?  ‘Let it happen’ Waterboys ‘Japanese trees’ Modest Mouse  ‘Oliver’s army’ Elvis  ‘London calling’ Clash. Guaranteed to accelerate your hearing loss.