ARE YOU MY MOTHER?

Have I married my Mother?

Both a reassuring and chilling thought.

It’s a truism, daughters marry their fathers, sons their mothers, and as you review marriages – and possibly your own – there’s enough there for the truism to be truth.

But in today’s gender confused world, perhaps sons are marrying their fathers, daughters their mothers, but that’s a subject for another post.

And the ‘Mother feeling’ prominent in March: Both my Mother and My Captor intensely Irish.

Celebrating all month long, we’re eating ‘Queenie baked’ soda bread on shamrock plates, learning offensive slang words for the Brits, and this weekend the first of several corned beef dinners, the first 2 boiling now.

St. Pat’s dinners heavy on boiled foods – tastes much better than it sounds – a March staple. And periodically throughout the year. Colcannon – Irish mashed potatoes combined with kale – is delicious, making kale legit.

And a meal everyone loves, but rarely has, so our guests incredibly grateful.

My Captor’s dinner actually better than my Mother’s, but hers a very close second (Sorry Mom -hopefully, no Ouija board communication…).

My Mother was a Gilligan, nearly 100% Irish – we didn’t talk about the Scottish bit – My Captor’s mother a Hughes, and the same. So, with the ‘mixed marriages’ both entered – marrying a German/Lithuanian and German – My Captor and I each about half Irish.

But I’ll confess: The more dominant half.

The Irish a plucky lot, facing a lot of adversity throughout their history, which my Mother would describe on occasion.

She a member of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, originally founded as an organization to defend the Irish against anti-Catholic activities, but from the basement where we kids were sequestered, their Sunday meetings sounded like an excuse for day drinking.

Day drinking one of my favorite Irish traditions…

And I actually finished second in two Hibernian Irish history essay contests, both awarding a $25 savings bond (kids ask your parents). I always believed the other entrant had better handwriting.

But from my Mother, we learned St. Patrick wasn’t really Irish, Halloween originated in Ireland, and never bet against ‘The Lady’, which was Notre Dame football. The last thing was a Saturday radio appointment, and the Sunday morning highlight program, featuring Lindsey Nelson. “We now turn to further action…”

She and my Dad were married on St. Patrick’s Day – My Captor remains jealous.

She never got a Driver License, perhaps the last American.

And a cautionary tale: Ignoring health concerns, dying at just 64.

But she and My Captor lots of commonality.

Both great conversationalists, empathetic, great listeners. That last thing perhaps the hardest thing to do – we all want to talk first.

My friends loved our kitchen, sharing their problems with my Mother. My Captor an equally good friend.

Both incredible grandmothers, my Mother always prepared with treats and hugs, My Captor the same.

Both great wives, managing their homes in ship shape fashion, preparing meals and making sure their families had whatever they needed. Within reason, of course.

Both great Mothers, nurturing, encouraging, loving their children – no matter what.

‘The Greatest Generation’ suffered a staggering amount of loss in WW2, but went on with their lives. Continuing to deal with adversity and loss the same way the rest of their lives: Head on, a day at a time.

My Captor the same approach: Wake up each day and live your life. Which is how we’ve lived post-Danny’s death, pulling each other through.

And upon further consideration, one day at a time copying our parents’ relationships: There for each other when needed. Or even when not.

My Mother would be proud.

For 281 more posts like this –each with a wish for vinegar with our cabbage– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Believe it or not, there are still copies of Beers at the Nifty 2024 available on Amazon. Order today! Or whatever day you’re finding this.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Tennis is a nice band, a young couple who spend a lot of time on their boat, as a recharge method. They have a new single out ‘At the Wedding’, which I’ve saved to the BATN playlist along with ‘Origins’ ‘Dreaming’ and ‘It all feels the Same’