AND MANY MORE!!

Today’s post: Celebration advice from John B., on the occasion of his 4^th birthday, excerpted from the upcoming “Win Your Birthday Big!”

Waiting your turn is hard.

Really hard.

My birthday’s June 4^th, the day after my big brother’s – my parents refuse to change that – but it makes me wonder what special significance Labor Day has for my parents.

But if It’s hard for me to have to watch my brother’s celebration, it’s really tough for our younger brother, who has to watch both.

All that aside – a phrase I just learned from a Curious George book – my birthday is still the best day ever.

From what I can tell of Queenie’s childhood – the adults have zero clue how much my brothers and I understand – her birthday was near Christmas, and she feels like it was never properly celebrated.

She said she’d never let that happen again – which is what we’re told when we’ve done something wrong (in our parent’s opinion, anyway) – and made her kid’s birthday celebrations a big deal.

Lucky for us, our Mom’s the same way. Our birthdays are a big deal.

We get to pick breakfast, lunch and dinner – and of course our cake. We never share a cake – thanks Mom!

But my brother and I work together to make our birthdays an even bigger deal.

It begins with good behavior at BDAY -2 weeks – you know, like making our beds, bringing our dishes to the sink – the kind of big city stuff George learned from the Man with the Yellow Hat.

But behavior not too good, because parents might expect you to keep that up: Stuff like mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, eating broccoli.

There’s a playground rumor that a kid foolishly emptied the dishwasher – that kind of stuff ruins it for everybody and will get you thrown off the monkey bars…  

From there, the first strategy is a joint party with a classmate, or neighborhood friend. Even better if it’s at a brewery, because then fathers come too, and actually look forward to a kid’s birthday party – which means better presents.

The brewery angle a big upgrade from Chuckie Cheese days…

And if Mom tries to add “No presents” to the invite, do whatever you can to distract her and remove that crazy talk!

The second step: Be a good sport at the joint party, act like you’re really happy for big brother – knowing his haul will force Mom and Dad to reexamine your gifts and worry they’re shortchanging you.

In that spirit, at BDAY -1, try to ask for something they mightn’t bought – which this year was a remote-controlled crane. Parental guilt is a powerful thing!

The next step: Get at least one set of grandparents to attend.

For Queenie and Pa, it’s ‘only’ a 5 hour drive, and to convince them it’s worth it, we enlist our 2 year old younger brother, who chants “Queenie and PA” whenever Mom talks to Queenie.

Who doesn’t want to be wanted?

Especially really old people like our grandparents.

Then its sit back and enjoy your day!

Kitchen totally decorated, fun birthday music on Spotify, and this year Krispy Kreme donuts – that’s totally a PA thing, but my Dad likes them too.

Important to be happy with whatever happens – the Hot Light wasn’t yet on, I let PA and Dad grumble about that -and whatever you get: Gratitude helps make sure next year’s birthday will be even better!

 And remember, our parents go to all this effort because they love us – the best gift of all!

Even better than my remote-controlled crane…

For 232 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on what that present is– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Though not a hardcore country music fan, I appreciate its many charms. But I’m like many others in lamenting that “modern country just isn’t the same”, which ignores its continuing evolution – I’m sure people were critical when man no longer walked on all fours: “Two legs will never work” – but my son-in-law introduced me to Charley Crockett during the dual bday celebration. Good stuff.

I’ve added Charley’s ‘$10 cowboy’ ‘I am not afraid’ ‘Look what you’ve done’ and ‘Welcome to Hard Times’ to the BATN playlist.  On a whim I’ve also added ‘Times Like These’ by Glen Campbell and ‘Happy Birthday’ by Stevie Wonder.

And if you haven’t seen Ken Burn’s Country Music Documentary, it is excellent.