Today is the 1st Deathiversary of our treasured friend David, who we were lucky to have known, if only for a little while.
Today’s post is a reprint from 5/30/21.
Check back tomorrow for a new one…
I wish we’d known you sooner.
A great friend died today, and we will miss him terribly.
But he was 96, ready to be with his wife and family again, so we’re saddened, but happy for him. His was a life whose full potential had been realized, as opposed to the tragic alternative.
We connected through his older brother Perry, who was our neighbor at the beach. As they hit their 90’s (great genes), they resolved to spend as much of their remaining time together as possible. Their solution was a nightly get together at 6P, coined www.whynot. A standing invitation to anyone who was interested, with appetizers, red wine and lively conversation provided.
It reminded me of a poor man’s Algonquin Round Table, where the conversation moved wherever the attendees took it. One constant was the brothers trying to solve the “Big Issues”: World Peace, Hunger, paper or plastic; but they were also patient teachers about the Big Band Era, Perry a Tommy Dorsey fan, David Artie Shaw.
After Perry died, we continued the whynot tradition on a weekly basis, even during the pandemic, outside on his deck, appropriately distanced. Looking back, it preserved our sanity during lockdown to have something to look forward to.
It’s amazing what you learn about people when you listen. Our friend had run a dental supply company. He had been the front man for the Atlanta Seventeen, a big band comprised of business professionals, playing gigs on the weekend, with their fee donated to charity. He had navigated bombers in the Pacific theatre during WW2. He had lost 2 adult children and his wife, a fact delivered without a trace of bitterness.
He shared his life details in fascinating dollops, all wrapped in a wickedly funny style – – remaining lightningly quick witted until the end.
Perhaps my favorite of his anecdotes was delivered during a discussion of “great live music memories” – a game best played over a beer(s) – when he mentioned he had seen Benny Goodman – then casually added that the opening act was a disheveled teenager named Barbra Streisand. Top that…
And he loved my Captor. Part of it was her baked goods (lemon!), part her calling him “Spencer” based on his resemblance to Spencer Tracy (I think it was the glasses), and part was their mutual trait of smiling – always, and no reason necessary.
The ‘greatest generation’ just went and did. There were no mission statements, just one foot in front of the other.
His approach to life: ”Do better every day”.
His approach to people: “If you have to choose friendships or business, always choose friendships. They are much harder to replace.”
I described him as a ‘salesman’, but in hindsight I believe he was a humanitarian: he constantly reminded us to see the possibilities in life, to be optimistic… and have some fun!
As we toast his life – and his impact on ours – it’s clear that people are placed in our lives for a reason. For what reason may not always be clear, so best pay attention.
It is a blessing to have a distinct, happy memory of the last time we see a loved one. We stopped by with baked goods (lemon!), and a whynot broke out. When I walked in, he said Party! (great to have a reputation, just wish it was a good one), and we had a beer and a great chat. A final gift…
At Perry’s memorial service, David described him as “the most Christ -like person I’ve ever known”. Upon further reflection, I believe it was a tie.
Addendum: We were blessed to know that it was the ‘last time we would see David’ and said our farewells accordingly. But as life reminds us – Uvalde being the most recent – you never know what’s next.
Take nothing for granted.
If you have a loved one you haven’t told I love you lately, say it now. Always say it now…
For 103 more posts like this –each with a B17 miniature – go to beersatthenifty.com
At the site, leave a comment on this post, and then check the box that says “Please notify me of future posts” and you will be sent the newest Sunday update automatically.
Or just forward this to everyone you know. Forward it to those you aren’t fond of twice.
TO ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING SONGS:
Today is BIG BAND SUNDAY! Choose a Big Band Channel on your streaming service and enjoy… Timeless classics that will transport you to long ago.
And if you’re a fan of this era, and haven’t seen Woody Allen’s Radio Days, a worthwhile watch
Frenesi Artie Shaw
Make Someone Happy Jimmy Durante
It’s so important to make someone happy
Make just one, someone happy
Make just one heart to heart you, you sing to
One smile that cheers you, One face that lights when it nears you
One girl your, your everything to
Fame, (if you win it) if you win it, (Comes and goes) comes and goes in a minutes
(Where’s the real) where’s the real stuff in life, to cling to?
Love is the answer
Someone to love is the answer
Once you’ve found her, Build your world around her
Make someone happy, Make just one, someone happy
And you will be happy too
Stardust Nat King Cole and a multitude of others
And now the purple dusk of twilight time, Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb, Always reminding me that we’re apart
You wander down the lane and far away, Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday, The music of the years gone by
Sometimes I wonder how I spend
The lonely night, Dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie, And I am once again with you
When our love was new, And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago, And now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song
Besides the garden wall, When stars are bright
You are in my arms, The nightingale tells his fairytale
A paradise where roses grew
Though I dream in vain, In my heart, it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love’s refrain
Moonlight Serenade Glenn Miller
I stand at your gate and the song that I sing is of moonlight
I stand and I wait for the touch of your hand in the June night
The roses are sighing a moonlight serenade
The stars are a glow and tonight how their light sets me dreaming
My love, do you know that your eyes are like stars brightly beaming?
I bring you and sing you a moonlight serenade
Let us stray till break of day in love’s valley of dreams
Just you and I a summer sky, a heavenly breeze kissing the trees
So don’t let me wait come to me tenderly in the June night
I stand at your gate and I sing you a song in the moonlight
A love song, my darling, a moonlight serenade
We can stay, till break of day
Don’t Get Around Much Anymore Duke Ellington
Missed the Saturday dance, Heard they crowded the floor
Couldn’t bear it without you
Don’t get around much anymore
Though I’d visit the club, Got as far as the door
They’d have asked me about you, Don’t get around much anymore
Darling, I guess my mind’s more at ease
But nevertheless why stir up memories?
Been invited on dates, Might have gone but what for?
Awf’lly diff’rent without you
Don’t get around much anymore
Ain’t Misbehavin’ Fats Waller
No one to talk with, All by myself
No one to walk with, But I’m happy on the shelf
Ain’t misbehavin’
I’m savin’ my love for you
I know for certain, The one I love
I’m through with flirtin’, It’s just you I’m thinkin’ of
Ain’t misbehavin’
I’m savin’ my love for you
Like Jack Horner, In the corner
Don’t go nowhere, What do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin’ for
Believe me
I don’t stay out late, Don’t care to go
I’m home about eight, Just me and my radio
Ain’t misbehavin’
I’m savin’ my love for you
Dweller on the Threshold Van Morrison
I’m a dweller on the threshold, And I’m waiting at the door
And I’m standing in the darkness, I don’t want to wait no more
I have seen without perceiving, I have been another man
Let me pierce the realm of glamour, So I know just what I am
I’m a dweller on the threshold
And I’m waiting at the door
And I’m standing in the darkness
I don’t want to wait no more
Feel the angel of the present, In the mighty crystal fire
Lift me up, consume my darkness, Let me travel even higher
I’m a dweller on the threshold, As I cross the burning ground
Let me go down to the water, Watch the great illusion drown
I’m a dweller on the threshold, And I’m waiting at the door
And I’m standing in the darkness, I don’t want to wait no more
I’m gonna turn and face the music, The music of the spheres
Lift me up, consume my darkness, When the midnight disappears
I will walk out of the darkness, And I’ll walk into the light
And I’ll sing the song of ages, And the dawn will end the night
I’m a dweller on the threshold, And I cross some burning ground
And I’ll go down to the water, Let the great illusion drown
I’m a dweller on the threshold
And I’m waiting at the door
And I’m standing in the darkness
I don’t want to wait no more
And finally, a quote from He-Man:
“Don’t say goodbye, say good journey, For every doorway is but a destination to another”
just wonderful.