Just because it’s happening inside your head doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Dumbledore to Harry Potter, before ‘sending’ him back to fight the ultimate duel with Voldemort.
I’ve just finished re-reading the Harry Potter series – amazing how great it is – and that line sums up much of how I see the world. Or un-see, if you prefer.
And I guess it describes the field of medical testing, which My Captor and I are in the midst of, at the moment.
I’ve experienced a recent trip to the dentist: Bummer – Root canal ahead; Visit to the dermatologist: All good, come back in a year; and an appointment with my/our cardiologist: Too early to tell -Our tests are too old, need to get them redone.
Which we started today, with a variety of ultrasounds, to be followed by a nuclear stress test next week.
My Captor and I were both tested today – sharing one car, we try to minimize our trips across the bridge to Brunswick – and had common experiences.
First, the techs were instructed not to tell us what – if anything – they’d seen.
Though I asked multiple times, in multiple clever ways – such as: Based on what you see, would you lend me money?
Second, the techs were very good at what they did – or appeared to be. She stared at the screen intently, making keystrokes on a regular basis, which told me she was on it.
Or maybe it was a video game I’d never seen before…
And third, the technology they were using would have been inconceivable just a few years ago – what they were able to see had to be other-worldly.
That’s my guess anyway – I had a lot of time to think while laying on my back and side…
And I’m thinking what they could see would have been judged to be magic in a bygone era – but for them, it’s what they’re used to looking at: No big deal.
But it made me remember a trip to the doctor at age 5, for a painful sore on the back of my throat: The doctor ‘fixed’ it with a Q-tip with witchhazel, throckmorton, or something totally wholesome sounding, that I’m guessing is illegal today.
Which may describe a lot of medical – and parenting – procedures that worked, but had a slight element of risk, making them no go. Spanking anyone?
But contrast what we went through today with what was once ‘other-worldly’:
Any trip to the proctologist was briefly memorable;
The weird hammer to the knee thing to ‘measure our reflexes’;
Or the Dengue Fever Pathology exam, which was also the eye exam, also the ACT exam in multiple Western states.
But imagine the impact on medical testing if magic was available.
Dumbledore could do a wand swipe and tell me if anything was wrong with me.
He could heal my root canal and any potential heart difficulties. And a couple of other ailments which shall remain nameless…
Mrs. Weasley would whip up something delicious, replacing my ‘colonoscopy polyps’, which are now the St. Christopher statue in our car.
And Harry Potter could do a Confoundus Charm on the accounting departments so I wouldn’t have to pay for any of this, or have the balance re-expressed in Knuts and Galleons.
Though there’d still be the occasional trip to see Madam Pomfrey in the healing clinic, mainly for the chocolate therapy.
But that would be too easy – and too cheap.
Meantime, we’re stuck in today’s ‘other-worldly’ system: Medicare for all!
Hopefully the nuclear stress test is worth the 25 Galleons it will cost…
For 235 more posts like this –each with a wish for an 8th Horcrux– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.
Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.
And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.
ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:
While we’re talking about magic, how about an album by Here We Go Magic, recorded in 2012, ‘A Different Ship’, a great one. I’ve added ‘Made to be Old’ ‘Over the Ocean’ ‘Make up your mind’ and ‘How do I know’ from the CD. But a particularly enjoyable listen. Unfortunately, they broke up in 2017ish.