100 MGs AND NOWHERE TO GO

Our internet went out recently – yes, as horrible as it sounds – a real non-learning experience that…

And I mean really ‘out’, four days without access to the world wide web.

Unfortunately, we’d junked our old dial-up equipment, so that wasn’t an option (kids, ask your parents).

Worse yet, no cable.

Which, with three young grandchildren in the house, and the Olympics in full swing, was the much bigger issue.

Apparently, a Xfinity tech ‘fixed’ a neighbor’s issue by unplugging our line and plugging theirs in – when I went to tell him our service had gone out, he replied “I’ll fix it” and drove off.

While we were certain an internet outage is not as bad as a power outage – a theory confirmed during Tropical Storm Debby – it was still a nuisance.

But we learned a ‘lot’ during the outage.

Much of which involved Xfinity’s customer service.

Xfinity is one of the companies that hasn’t brought “customer service home to the US”, and while I have nothing against Indians – or Native Americans or Guardians – their service was horrible. And duplicitous.

Which seems to be a common complaint today: Customer service sucks.

Who trusts them? I don’t, but don’t listen when told to because “our commands have changed”, which might be the issue, I guess.

It begins with the call to Xfinity. Notably, an answering American voice – or sounding like it. And after the third call or so, you understand your best hope is a text to “address your issue”.

But the best part is the background noise, which is clicking keys – as if the disembodied voice is checking it’s investment portfolio, looking you up on the ‘dark web’, or ‘surfing the ‘net’. Vaguely taunting…

The next step the text promising help.

After the obligatory “Have you reset your modem” request to unplug the modem – which didn’t work any of the 36 times I did it – you move to a phone call, and optimistically, a promised tech appointment.

Hopefully not the one who drove off, of course…

The phone call makes you aware that you’re not in Kansas anymore, when a rep named Sridevi hops on to assist.

He – and the 2 Indian reps who followed him – all told me “I’ve been able to rearrange our schedule, and a tech will be there tomorrow”.

Consistently a lie – that duplicitous thing – and the reason I kept calling back, speaking to 3 different reps.

And while everything got restored, it made me wonder if they’re now called Xfinity to move on from terrible Comcast vibes – and if a new name is in the offing to move on from terrible Xfinity vibes.  

And also wondering why we still have cable…

But the more important learning: Life without internet or cable is OK.

Briefly anyway.

I’m not a big social medialer, so that wasn’t an issue, it’s the processing of emails and reading materials, a lot easier with the internet.

Which wears off after day 2, and ‘life before internet’ begins to return: A feeling of peace with a side of calm – almost like living on an island.

Which My Captor and I do, so it was like being home, I guess.

But the absence of cable was a tradeoff – the kids missed their occasional show and we missed Hallmark movies – but there were no political attack or ‘fighting for justice’ ads, which was a delight.

But the punchlines?

No internet still better than no power.

And Xfinity’s customer service is pretty much like everyone else’s.

I’m pressing 7, to signal ‘I give up, you win’.

I believe that’s the new command…

For 242 more posts like this –each with a wish for a hint on where the internet is– go to beersatthenifty.com. Your phone will display every post, and you can waste an hour or two.

Or send me an email to the site, and I’ll add you to my Sunday distribution.

And I’m now on Substack at justluckytobehere.substack.com. Same stuff, but a different location.

ENHANCE YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THIS POST, PAIR IT WITH THE FOLLOWING ‘AGING HIPSTER MUSIC’:

Grandaddy is an interesting band, originally from Modesto, CA. They’ve been a group since 1992, with a 5 year hiatus in the mid-2010s, and are active today. I’ve added ‘Gettin’ Jipped’, ‘Stray Dog and the Chocolate Shake’ and ‘It’s On’. The last song is about turning on a porch light. Weird.